She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
