Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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