We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he fucked my hip out of place.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
