Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sobbing to NWA
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
