I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So here I am, sexting at work.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
