You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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