If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
