MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
