Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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