so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
