Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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