I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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