is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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