Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
