my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
