Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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