talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
