dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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