It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
