I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
