Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dicks are not precious.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
