Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
