We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
