I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
