That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
