You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
