she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
