Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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