I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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