he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
