She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
