my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
