is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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