She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
