How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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