You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So here I am, sexting at work.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
