What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
