so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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