New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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