best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
