I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
