My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
