yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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