At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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