their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
