Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
