The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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