If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
