Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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