i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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