it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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