Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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