So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
